Housing Bubble Update

In further news related to the debate over the existence of a housing bubble, Mr. Bubble has filed a lawsuit claiming copyright infringement, as well as lost earnings, medical expenses, physical pain and mental suffering.


"All this talk about a housing "bubble" has cast a very bad light on bubbles. Our image has been tainted. I'm all about good, clean fun, but now when anyone hears the word "bubble" all they think about is losing money. It makes people sad and anxious. And that makes me angry. I'm so angry I'm afraid I'll burst."

Mr. Bubble's lawyer said his client has been seeing a therapist, and the suit asks for monetary damages in an undisclosed amount.

DHHG Captures Spy Drones

The DHHG has captured several unmanned spy "balloon drones" inside the White House. While officials declined to release specific information, a statement said that the drones appeared to be unarmed, but were gathering extensive data about the wallpaper, furnishings and drapery choices in the Oval Office. A website belonging to the underground terrorist decorating cell calling itself PDLF, or People's Decor Liberation Forces, has claimed responsibility and has vowed to continue their struggle against the western policies of decor aggression.

Don't Forget to Vote!

Help the DHHG pick our new motto. Every vote counts.

VOTE HERE

National Guard Called In Appliance Incident

Midsville, Ohio: The National Guard was called to protect a 16-wheeler that had broken down on the Interstate just outside of Denver. The truck, carrying top of the line stainless steel appliances, had experienced electrical failure, resulting in the back doors being unable to close. As the driver sat waiting for help, passing commuters noticed the professional ranges and ice-in-door refrigerators. A crowd quickly gathered and then turned aggressive, as several in the mob attempted to cart away the extremely heavy appliances. The driver called for help to subdue the agitated mob.

Milton Smith, an insurance agency manager, was one of those arrested. "We're redoing our kitchen and we've been shopping around for appliances. When I saw all that shiny stainless steel gleaming on the side of the highway it was like it was put there for a reason. Anyway, it's not like these big corporations are going to miss one little stove. People like me, in mid-management, we feel like we're oppressed, you know? We deserve nice appliances."

The truck driver, who was unharmed, said he was not shocked by the incident. "People gotta have their stainless. It's a classic that works in any decor. I might have to think about carrying protection from now on."

Cast Your Vote!

The official motto for the DHHG should be:
	Fighting the terror of home decor
	First educate, then decorate
	Come on-a my house, my house a come on ...
Free polls from Pollhost.com

"Batty For Britain" Program

The DHHG has launched an important new program to show U.S. support for our British allies. Read the full press release:

"Batty For Britain"

New: The PrefaBungalow

Have you ever flipped through a Restoration Hardware catalogue and thought "I love this stuff. I wish I could live in this catalog." Well, now you can.

New from Restoration Hardware is the "PrefaBungalow." The kit takes all the guesswork out of putting together an authentic reproduction home. Why stress out about making bad decorating choices? Restoration Hardware has done all the work for you.


Included is a complete one-story bungalow structure (walls, floors, windows and doors), and all necessary furnishings from Restoration Hardware's extensive collection. You get your choice of wall color (Silver Sage, Butter Cream, or Latte), furniture (Marston or Blaine), and bathroom furnishings (Chatham or Bistro.)

Everything is guaranteed to coordinate perfectly, resulting in instant gratification. Start living the pre-assembled reproduction lifestyle you've always dreamed of! (Catalog only. Some assembly required.)


Special introductory bonus:
order now and receive an
authentic reproduction pet.
Your choice of white ("Mr. Scraggles")
or black ("Winston")

Housing Bubble: Fact or Fiction?

As the debate over the existence of a housing bubble rages on, we got an exclusive interview with one expert.

Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, met us at an Emerald City Starbucks for a quick chat. Graciously greeting fans as she made her way to our table, Glinda is as radiant in person as she appears in pictures. Sipping her latte (soy milk, extra hot) Glinda explained, "A lot of people are surprised, but I don't live in my bubble. It's actually just a travel bubble. I have a very nice condo about 10 minutes outside of Emerald City. Luckily I bought right before prices went crazy so I've already got equity in the place. It's just a little 2 bedroom/2 bath, but it's got incredible views of the Enchanted Forest." Flashing a dazzling smile, the busy witch apologized for having to rush off to another appointment. "It's great to finally set the record straight. At least for me, there is no housing bubble. Just a travel bubble."

Reproduction of "Tom Cruise/Oprah" Couch Available

Due to overwhelming demand, furniture giant Thomasville has stepped up production of its "Serenity" couch, which closely resembles the one Tom Cruise abused during his infamous appearance on the Oprah show. The perhaps questionably named "Serenity" couch is available in a variety of colors, fabrics and leather choices. While Thomasville stands by the quality of its products, the manufacturer makes no representation that the couch will withstand repeated jumpings-on, arm-wrestlings, or make-out sessions with Katie Holmes.




The "Serenity":

The DHH "G" Spot

Welcome to the DHHG's Garden Spot.

Today we have a very special "Celebrity G Spot" featuring singer/actress Jessica Simpson. Join us as we peek over the fence into the garden of one of Hollywood's most talented performers. Oh, and don't worry about getting chased away by security guards - you're on government business. Here's our question for Jessica -

Hi Jessica! I'm a huge fan. (of yours.) I was wondering, are you related to Bart? Also, are you in favor of "green" gardening? And what do you have in your garden right now? Thanks and Keep On Rocking!
Molly S., Ohio

Jessica answers -

Hi, Molly. Jessica here! Thanks for being a fan. Unfortunately, I am not related to Bart, but I think he's very talented in what he does. And I have to say that yes, I am in favor of green gardening. But I also love a lot of color, like from flowers. If you have too much green it just looks like trees, so I have a lot of flowers in my garden with colors like yellow and pink. The other thing I have a lot of in my garden right now is dog poo.
Lots of love,
Jessica

Welcome Home, Crew of Discovery!

The nation rejoiced this morning as the shuttle Discovery returned safely from its journey into space. The astronauts' families were especially happy to see their loved ones home safe and sound. Steve Robinson's wife, in particular, was elated. Speaking with reporters shortly after Discovery landed, she said, "It was really amazing to see him walk in space and fix those thermal tiles on the shuttle. There's no reason he can't get up on our own roof and clean out that clogged gutter now!" Interviewed at Andrews Air Force Base, Robinson was quoted as saying he'd "get right on it."

Weekend Home Repair Injury Report

Another slump in the numbers this weekend, compared to last year. Consumers continue to stay away from home repair projects in favor of "fun" summer activities. Analysts warn against reading too much into the numbers, and predict a return to home repairs in the upcoming holiday season.

Ladder falls: 82
Combination ladder lutz with half-loop shelf grab: 7
Screwdriver woundings: 206
Eye injuries: 864
Too embarrassing to explain, resulting in trip to emergency room: 52

And as always, exercise caution when working with robots.

Words To Ponder

"For what is the brush without the paint, or the paint without the brush? Each needs the other to fulfill its destiny. And to paint the wall." Old Chinese proverb

Shuttle "To Do" List

We all have those endless "to do" lists for the weekend (clean out garage, fix garbage disposal.) Astronauts are no different than anyone else.

The DHHG has obtained a copy of the directive from Discovery Commander Eileen Collins to astronaut Stephen Robinson regarding the work needed to repair the shuttle: (click on list to make larger)

Consumer Awareness

Special DHHG consumer awareness alert:
Ophthalmologists have reported an increase in eye injuries due to colors "popping" during home renovation. The DHHG urges taking all necessary precautions, including the use of protective eye wear.

Whaz Up, DHHG!

Welcome back to another installment of the DHHG newsletter, where you get the 411 on the latest books, movies and tv shows relating to the world of your home.

The temperature is still sizzling hot, but hang in there, because we've got a preview of the exciting home-related shows coming your way for the fall. We don't want to grandstand, but we think the presence of the DHHG in our nation's capital is having some influence. There seems to be a definite Washington flava to the upcoming shows. Check 'em out for yourself!

From BRAVO: "Queer Eye for the Senator Guy"
The Fab 5 pay a visit to the guys on the Hill. Can the team take these style-challenged government types from power ties to the power of being properly moisturized? There oughta be a law!

From ABC: "Extremely Expensive and Wasteful Government Makeover - Home Edition"
Most home remodels involve extensive delays and spiraling budgets. And who knows more about that than our government? Watch as an average home is totally remodeled. Each makeover is expected to take 3-5 years and cost more than two billion dollars.

From HGTV: "Design on the Taxpayer's Dime"
The familiar format, which shows viewers how to accomplish various decor looks for budget prices, gets the Washington treatment. With little preparation and no plan at all, a huge team of decorators debates various design ideas until eventually someone gives in. The end result is a decor no one really likes, for more money than anyone wanted to spend.

Also from HGTV: "Mission Organization Accomplished"
Lieutenant General Ricardo Sanchez leads a highly trained special ops team into the chaotic closets of messy homeowners. Working swiftly, the team whips the areas into shape, and then departs, leaving order and sanity. Sir, yes Sir!