Long Time, No Decor

Hey - it's Franny G here! Wow - it's been forever since the Department of Homeland Homes and Gardens was merged into Homeland Security and the old gang moved on. All the recent news about "increased terror levels" has made me nostalgic, and I wanted to check in on the old place. It looks smaller. I haven't touched a paint chip or looked at a Pottery Barn catalog in ages. I don't really miss it. I do miss the people I used to work with. I heard that Secretary Kenneth now works for HGTV. Most of the government decorators have gone on to lucrative consulting positions with private corporations. I thought about writing a screenplay about my experience working for the DHHG, but most of what I know is still classified. I'd have to fictionalize everything! Even then no one would believe the stuff that went on in that place. Anyway, I'm meeting some friends for dinner, so I have to run, but I just wanted to let everyone know I'm doing okay. I'll never forget my time at the DHHG.