National Guard Called In Appliance Incident

Midsville, Ohio: The National Guard was called to protect a 16-wheeler that had broken down on the Interstate just outside of Denver. The truck, carrying top of the line stainless steel appliances, had experienced electrical failure, resulting in the back doors being unable to close. As the driver sat waiting for help, passing commuters noticed the professional ranges and ice-in-door refrigerators. A crowd quickly gathered and then turned aggressive, as several in the mob attempted to cart away the extremely heavy appliances. The driver called for help to subdue the agitated mob.

Milton Smith, an insurance agency manager, was one of those arrested. "We're redoing our kitchen and we've been shopping around for appliances. When I saw all that shiny stainless steel gleaming on the side of the highway it was like it was put there for a reason. Anyway, it's not like these big corporations are going to miss one little stove. People like me, in mid-management, we feel like we're oppressed, you know? We deserve nice appliances."

The truck driver, who was unharmed, said he was not shocked by the incident. "People gotta have their stainless. It's a classic that works in any decor. I might have to think about carrying protection from now on."