Weekend Home Repair Injury Report
Another slump in the numbers this weekend, compared to last year. Consumers continue to stay away from home repair projects in favor of "fun" summer activities. Analysts warn against reading too much into the numbers, and predict a return to home repairs in the upcoming holiday season.
Ladder falls: 82
Combination ladder lutz with half-loop shelf grab: 7
Screwdriver woundings: 206
Eye injuries: 864
Too embarrassing to explain, resulting in trip to emergency room: 52
And as always, exercise caution when working with robots.
posted by Tara Z. @ 6:59 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
and please.....let's not forget. It's August. Even the smallest home improvement requires superhero effort in August, unless you are one of "plan ahead" types that got the A.C. installed in January. Well, it can't be any fun sitting in your perfect temperature controlled house watching the YARD TURN BROWN, can it? (If I sound a little "Bitter, table for one" it is because I nearly fainted today performing simple household upkeep - vacuuming. Sorry).
So add heatstroke to the truly obsessive home project folks who are unable to have "fun" in summer - Fun is working on the house! Planning the installation of a pool! Watering the lawn and yourself at the same time! Who cares if the neighbors give you the hairy eyeball! The dedicated homeowner does so all year round. It's God's work, and God only took Sunday's off, not summer. (certainly not 5 whole weeks, either). Just like voting, if you don't do it, you cannot complain. So get out there in 101 degrees and weed! So what if they grow back? At least you can stand up, red-faced, sweaty, dangerously listing, gasping, "Yes, I worked on the house today". I weeded. Did you?
Oh Lord, why weed? All they do is lie, lie, lie. They start out green, you think they are some sort of new and beautiful grass, or perhaps a small flower, why, they may even display a little color before they suddenly overtake your lawn, your carefully chosen annuals and perrenials - they shoot up with stalks of fuzz that quickly becomes thorns and before you can blink, you have lost all of your gardening rights as an American citizen. Why bother? NO, I don't weed anymore. And I refuse to believe it can make a difference. It's an exercise in futility. I'll just take my garden to another country where the weeds don't lie.
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