Thursday, July 28, 2005


THE DGGH HAS ISSUED AN ALERT TO ALL CONSUMERS: The giant fork and spoon in the above picture are intended purely for DECORATING PURPOSES ONLY. Please do not attempt to ingest food with these items. The amount of food ingested will be well above governmentally approved daily allowances. To be honest, we don't even like the idea of these things hanging on your wall. They kind of freak us out. But we understand that you may have some sort of utensil theme going and we're not here to judge. Our goal is consumer awareness and safety in decorating.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Man Behind The DHHG

The DHHG is headed by Secretary Kenneth H. Kenneth. Read more about Secretary Kenneth here:

Secretary Kenneth oversees a staff of 11, give or take. Departments within the Department include such departments as the Department of Fabrics & Furnishings, The Division of Labor and Remodeling, The Section For Space Planning, The Area of Rugs, and The Room Where We Think About Color.

Welcome to the DHHG!

Welcome to the Department of Homeland Homes and Gardens. The DHHG was created by the President in February of 2005 as a response to the discovery of an underground home decorating cell. (

The DHHG is charged with overseeing all facets of home decorating and remodeling, including furniture placement, color choice (fabrics and surfaces) and outdoor spaces including patios, gardens and walkways. In these troubling times, we must all be vigilant and work together to stamp out the threat to our great nation's most cherished expression of individuality - our living spaces. Together, we can achieve greatness. Together, we can achieve balance and proportion and color coordination. Together, we can and will triumph over those who seek to destroy our American way of decor.

Remember - you can't spell "HOME" without "ME." And "ME" means "YOU." And me. And all of us. So let's join together and stamp out the terror of home decor!