I'm Dreaming of a Brand New Kitchen ...

(An ode to kitchen renovation, with apologies to Irving Berlin)

I’m dreaming of a brand new kitchen
Just like the ones on HGTV
If the contractor will listen, how the granite will glisten
How envious my neighbor will be!

Oh, I’m dreaming a new kitchen
With every single check I write
May your spouse let you win every fight,
And may your kitchen renovation be just right!

Merry Christmas from the Department of Homeland Homes and Gardens!